Stripping season

I know its a cliché, but it’s an honest one, as I sit to write this, looking out over the beautiful view outside, with my legs burning in pains, I thought. “If my life never gets better than this, what happens” My awareness of what I had lost and how quickly I had lost it made my appreciation of what I now had so much intense.

I am not the woman I was 2yrs ago, and though sometimes I miss her, missing my old life, I know I would never want to go back!

•Yes, I lost my health and my looks, but I gained a firmer sense of who I am (anyway) and who God is, I have become closer to the lord, felt his presence, felt him around me, I have felt his words of comfort in my heart, and I have felt his voice saying ” I’m not through with you yet, together we can stand, and together we can share what I’ve done in your life”.

•Yes, I lost a chance to get a PHD, but I gained a firmer sense of trust that what God wants to happen in our life, he’ll make happen. I also gained a new sense of mission to people who are hurting I can’t wait to bring God’s message of mercy and his compassion to others who know pain.

•Yes, I lost my sense of control over my body but I also gained in the sweet humility that comes with acknowledging my own weakness and receiving help from others the tender sense of being cared for.

•Yes, I lost a degree of freedom and autonomy to do what I please, but I gained a new appreciation of what such small pleasures can mean, so that now I truly relish a walk around the block.

•Yes, I lost the innocence of a pain free existence, but I gained a deep new compassion for those who hurt and a new realisation that I want to serve the lord even more than I want to live without pain. I also found a kind of wisdom that comes from learning to be patient and learning to take comfort from the lord. I have lost a lot of my energy and vitality. I gained a new appreciation for God’s everyday gifts of strength. I gained a new knowledge that no matter what happens I am still me, and that I am loved. I am in a process of restoration, that is the wonderful gift the lord can give above all everything.

It happened to job and I believe it will to me. There is no guarantee, of course that there won’t be other stripping seasons but I believe John and I will grow older, so we will face the inevitable losses that come with ageing, something could still happen to our loved ones, and unless we die together, one of us will inevitably live with the loss of the other, and we all will face death, the ultimate stripping experience here on this earth. Even then, we have the promise of restoration and this will be one without scars, we will be the grateful recipients of a new “incorruptible” body and everlasting life with our redeemer. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for that final beautiful gift.